Boymom life lessons

Hi, world! Today I’m sharing some self-reflection as a parent, specifically as a boymom.

If there’s anything I learned there were so many things I could have done differently or better, but hey no use in beating yourself up because we all know babies don’t ’come with instructions so you just wing it or do the best you can. For those of you who don’t follow astrology, let me share some background on what it means to be a mom as a Leo woman. We already love hard but as a parent our kids can do no wrong but if they do, you take it personal because you believe they represent the family and they should behave as a good human being at all times. To feel better, I’d think to myself countless of times, don’t worry about it, he’ll understand one day when he has a family of his own. I can’t recall getting whooped growing up but I do remember getting spanked ONCE🤣 in front of all our cousins that day because we came home at dark from riding our bikes in the neighborhood and simply lost track of time but my mom was so pissed. I didn’t know ‘a 100% of the time sweet woman’ could spank so hard😆. I think my sister and I were 8 and 9. Other than that we never acted like brats and we always listened and were respectful kids.

To be fair, this was my first mess up. I can honestly say that having been brought up by Catholic Filipino parents, I wanted to parent the same way because they truly did their best and we always respected them greatly. Strict mom, laid back dad but I know they loved us immensely. They provided for us the best way they knew how and made sure we were always close to our family. The bond my son had with my mom though was like no other, but one I highly respected. She could scold him without him ever talking back and she always showed love that he saw as unmatchable. He listened to her while he gave me the hardest time most of the time. Any advice I gave, he did the opposite or followed that of his dad’s. Man it was hard, an uphill battle for so many years. 😪

In summary, just be a cheerleader not a drill sergeant. I always felt his resentment as if I was always doing too much. But additionally, I’m sure co-parenting played a role in not making things any easier.

I did the Kumon thing, hired for tutoring sessions when grades were slipping, PTA leadership in junior & high school, president of his basketball’s booster club, endless cookie baking, carpooling, supported all activities from age 4-18. It should have all been done in moderation, NOT OVER THE TOP as a super proud and highly engaged mom. Subtle and subdued. Til this day, I only wish he knew I did what I did out of love not because I genuinely wanted to be strict or always overprotective. I believed that every mom’s job is to love crazily over their children and put them on a pedestal because if no one will momma would. But don’t get me wrong, everyone knew he was my world but far from a mama’s boy. I told my friends, “you know one day he’s gonna have a family of his own and he’ll need to be able to lead and be strong for his family so raising him to be a mama’s boy would be a disservice!”. They’d laugh and say, “yeah true but you love that boy!”.

Emotions can run high in any relationship but he is the only person on Earth who can affect me to my core. Not my first love in college, not even a divorce from so many years of marriage. No man can or has affected me so deeply like my child. I’m sure it’s a mom thing but jeez, so very heavy on the heart.

Our communication is currently quiet but I’m learning not to be too involved unless he wants to share his life’s happenings. He’s grown and navigating life but I think about him very often. I hope one day he’ll understand that all I wanted was to love the gift God gave me at a young age and do the best I could do while raising him through life’s roller-coaster. I love him and always will. 😢 💔 🙏🏼💙

Hope you enjoyed the read!

ALOHA and XO!!  
Sunkissed Haze

Pics: 9mos pregnant, photo booth pic at my niece’s wedding in Vegas

Featured image: His college graduation at PVAMU